Thursday, August 6, 2015

Why Liberals Shouldn't Rejoice in the Flatlining Republican Brain

So the Republican debate tonight has a certain freak show appeal. Watching it is like viewing a broadcast from some alternate universe where the Bush war in Iraq was a grand idea, Obamer is still a moose-lamb from Kenyer, and the President is also a Nazi who, like all Nazis, believes health care is a human right.

Except one of these assholes could be our president in 2016, so this isn't funny.

Presumably, Hillary won't drop the ball. She was smart enough to send a fundraising e-mail during the debate blasting the whole stage of goons for what they are. But before my fellow liberals get smug, I'd like to point out this bird can't fly with a dead right wing.

From the perspective of winning elections, it's lovely that Republicans have given up on evolution - not just the scientific principle, but every definition of the word. They're still advocating for a giant wall to keep the brown folks out - a giant infrastructure project brought to you by the people whose toxic philosophy won't allow them to invest in any infrastructure whatsoever. Also, they're going to do it without raising taxes or going into debt. Maybe the plan is to have Mexicans build it from the south and then just yell over the wall that we can't pay them because there's a wall in the way. Or maybe they want to continue their grand plan of making our country so shitty that no one wants to come here.

Where is the William F. Buckley? I disagree with his philosophy, but he at least attempted to use facts and figures to justify his agenda. Where are the conservatives who felt obliged to live in a fact-based reality? Where are the brains on the right? I'd settle for a P.J. O'Rourke - a conservative with a sense of humor who's willing to admit when his philosophy falls short.

But he's nowhere. Look at this stage. Reality-show bimbos. Entitled trust fund brats with grey streaks. Bullies having hissy fits, using bluster and volume in a vain attempt to hide their naked ignorance.

We deserve better.

And there's another reason this is no good. When Wall Street sees these amateurs for what they are, they pollute the Democratic party with their money, seeing us as the only adults in the room. We wind up with centrist Democrats who won't stand up to Wall Street when it matters, along with frothing, infantile Republicans. Then everyone loses faith in elected government and falls for the big lie: the private sector can do it better. This is how democracy slips into oligarchy.

If you're a Republican, have the dignity to be ashamed of these men. Your party deserves a fact-based candidacy. This country needs a legitimate adult candidate from both parties. I didn't support Obama when he was wrong about T.P.P. and torture. I worry that Hillary is too close to Wall Street. I know that Bernie, who I love, is unelectable. We have to be honest about the flaws our leaders display.

And if you want political comedy, try "The Campaign". Like most great comedy, it isn't totally joking.

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