Having a reality show whore as a president is entertaining. If you're anything like me, you're struck with the urge once or twice a day to do a Russel Crowe Gladiator impersonation and shout at his apologists, "Are you not entertained?!"
The trouble is, news was never supposed to be entertainment, and neither was politics. There are real, adult issues we need to talk about, and we can't do that with President Human Black Hole sucking the air out of every possible conversation. Below are some of our neglected real problems, along with some possible solutions, in the hopes of starting the sort of conversation that might actually solve something before it's too late.
The 30-70 Problem
Soon, 30% of the population will elect 70% of the Senate. We often talk about the tyranny of the majority, but this is the opposite extreme. If the Senate so disproportionately reflects the values of only a few Americans, I don't know if I'd call it "rural tyranny", but it definitely isn't democracy. Yes, our founding fathers wanted the geographic regions of the country to be represented in the government. And yes, we do load these regions with prisons and landfills and power plants. While we're at it, we've neglected these regions and need to invest in them, the way some companies are now teaching former coal miners how to become computer programmers. But can any conservative argue that the founding fathers foresaw a state like Wyoming having half a million people in it? (The population of Newark, NJ, for perspective.) It isn't fair for Wyoming to have two senators while California also has two, who represent more than 30 million people (close to a tenth of the nation's population).
The Senate can't become the House of Representatives either, but it needs to be made more like it. The math is something we have to negotiate, but we can't have that good faith negotiation while President Mood Swing is poop-tweeting at us all. A related problem is the Electoral College, which could be solved using a Maine-Nebraska split of electoral votes to address conservative concerns that a national popular election would give California and New York too much power.
The Saudi-Iranian Problem
It's tempting right now to jump on the president for his weak response to the Saudi government's probable murder of its most visible dissident voice. After all, he's got that troll gift for making those of us on the left froth at the mouth. Trouble is, Saudi Arabia's enemy Iran is a brutal theocracy as well, and I like my brutal theocrats killing one another so they don't kill those of us who like to read and leave other people alone.
We are in bed with Saudi Arabia, economically and politically. They are a vital bulwark against a nuclear Iran. Also, their war in Yemen is an atrocious affront to human decency. And also, it's a check against yet another atrocious affront to human decency. Sometimes there are only shitty choices, and we have to struggle to walk the least hideous path.
We need to have an adult conversation about how to make the Saudi government less brutal, while maintaining them as a shield against Iran. There will be no easy fixes, and there never have been in the Middle East, since the British forced so many nations to be nations without bothering to consult the locals. We need to carefully discuss how to balance legitimate concerns about human rights abuses in the region against the atrocities to come if Iran wins the Middle East cold war. And we can't have that gut-wrenching conversation with a know-nothing game show host from Queens involved.
The Climate Crisis
The earth will be unrecognizable by 2040 if we don't act now, according to a study released this week. Oil companies and the military have known for decades, and their own internal documents confirm this. There is no debate in the scientific community. Right wing, we need you to stop pretending to be idiots on this issue, or those of you in Kansas and Missouri will have lots of unwanted neighbors from the coasts when the flooding gets cataclysmic. Technology can help slow the damage, but massive changes in our consumption habits will also be necessary. None of us want to hand the next generation a maimed world. This needs to become a bipartisan issue. It can't be, until one side stops plugging their fingers in their ears. We'll have to re-create the entire economy, to reward sustainability instead of limitless growth. We need the other side to become a part of this conversation, but there is one man who isn't invited, because he has proven himself to be utterly incapable of discussing anything but himself.
The Global Immigration Crisis
We can't save everyone. That is the heartbreaking truth. But as long as we're using undocumented workers for labor, we owe them basic human decency. This problem is closely connected to the last one, as global droughts have been a major factor in the wars and gang violence that are driving mass migration.
I don't know what Europe can do to solve its mass migration problem, but I know what the solution isn't. Turning ourselves into loathsome little klansmen, or listening to those who already are, will not make our problems go away. Fascism is tempting because it pretends to simplify the world. The great leader pretends he can solve everything, and all you have to hand him is your freedom.
But the right is correct that we can't just have wide open borders. We also can't afford to build and man a 1,900-mile wall while cutting taxes for the rich and saddling the next generations with crippling debt. The solution I propose is conditional citizenship for the nine-12 million undocumented immigrants who we can't deport (as a matter of practicality, we physically can't). They pay back and future taxes and a portion of that goes toward improved border security. We debate these things in a civil way. You on the right call off your Proud Boys and K.K.K. and American fucking Nazis, rendering Antifa unnecessary. We stop the next Civil War before it begins, and our newest citizens begin to integrate the way each generation of American immigrants has in the past.
There is only one person who can't come to the negotiations, because he doesn't have the knowledge, or the maturity, or the capability to admit fault or apologize, or empathize, or be a decent human being at all for even one second. He has shown us this. Believe what he has shown us all. Think for just a moment. Picture his toddler tantrum body language. Remember his actual words, calling entire races rapists and attacking minority judges and mocking disabled people. He has done a marvelous job of showing all of us just how shitty a human being he actually is. Please put pride aside and acknowledge what we all already know.
I know my attacking him may trigger some of you. Ask yourself why. He isn't your uncle. He isn't your drinking buddy. And if you reply with "But Hillary!" or "But Obama!", I openly acknowledge their flaws. I worship no Democrat in office; I just see them as a more practical class of crooks. I believe the best presidents of the last century were F.D.R., Dwight Eisenhower, and Teddy Roosevelt. Two of those are Republicans, and they wouldn't recognize what you've let your party devolve into. We can't fly on together with a crippled right wing. You do not owe any politician your personal allegiance. There are no messiahs. Please let the idea of a political savior go. This destructive belief cripples all of us. Please stop harming yourself and your nation just to spite "the liberal elite". Your choice to self-mutilate is making all of us bleed with you.
We have many other problems, and together, we could have solutions. Our entanglements with China need to be sorted out. A proper response to ongoing Russian cyber attacks needs to be implemented. Wealth inequality needs to be decreased or we'll continue to function as an oligarchy. We need a national cyber-security initiative on par with our response to Sputnik in the 50's. There are solutions to all of these problems. But first we have to sober up, and stop being so damn entertained. First the White House freak show needs to be cancelled. Then, I believe we can begin the painful conversations that could still heal our battered nation.
The trouble is, news was never supposed to be entertainment, and neither was politics. There are real, adult issues we need to talk about, and we can't do that with President Human Black Hole sucking the air out of every possible conversation. Below are some of our neglected real problems, along with some possible solutions, in the hopes of starting the sort of conversation that might actually solve something before it's too late.
The 30-70 Problem
Soon, 30% of the population will elect 70% of the Senate. We often talk about the tyranny of the majority, but this is the opposite extreme. If the Senate so disproportionately reflects the values of only a few Americans, I don't know if I'd call it "rural tyranny", but it definitely isn't democracy. Yes, our founding fathers wanted the geographic regions of the country to be represented in the government. And yes, we do load these regions with prisons and landfills and power plants. While we're at it, we've neglected these regions and need to invest in them, the way some companies are now teaching former coal miners how to become computer programmers. But can any conservative argue that the founding fathers foresaw a state like Wyoming having half a million people in it? (The population of Newark, NJ, for perspective.) It isn't fair for Wyoming to have two senators while California also has two, who represent more than 30 million people (close to a tenth of the nation's population).
The Senate can't become the House of Representatives either, but it needs to be made more like it. The math is something we have to negotiate, but we can't have that good faith negotiation while President Mood Swing is poop-tweeting at us all. A related problem is the Electoral College, which could be solved using a Maine-Nebraska split of electoral votes to address conservative concerns that a national popular election would give California and New York too much power.
The Saudi-Iranian Problem
It's tempting right now to jump on the president for his weak response to the Saudi government's probable murder of its most visible dissident voice. After all, he's got that troll gift for making those of us on the left froth at the mouth. Trouble is, Saudi Arabia's enemy Iran is a brutal theocracy as well, and I like my brutal theocrats killing one another so they don't kill those of us who like to read and leave other people alone.
We are in bed with Saudi Arabia, economically and politically. They are a vital bulwark against a nuclear Iran. Also, their war in Yemen is an atrocious affront to human decency. And also, it's a check against yet another atrocious affront to human decency. Sometimes there are only shitty choices, and we have to struggle to walk the least hideous path.
We need to have an adult conversation about how to make the Saudi government less brutal, while maintaining them as a shield against Iran. There will be no easy fixes, and there never have been in the Middle East, since the British forced so many nations to be nations without bothering to consult the locals. We need to carefully discuss how to balance legitimate concerns about human rights abuses in the region against the atrocities to come if Iran wins the Middle East cold war. And we can't have that gut-wrenching conversation with a know-nothing game show host from Queens involved.
The Climate Crisis
The earth will be unrecognizable by 2040 if we don't act now, according to a study released this week. Oil companies and the military have known for decades, and their own internal documents confirm this. There is no debate in the scientific community. Right wing, we need you to stop pretending to be idiots on this issue, or those of you in Kansas and Missouri will have lots of unwanted neighbors from the coasts when the flooding gets cataclysmic. Technology can help slow the damage, but massive changes in our consumption habits will also be necessary. None of us want to hand the next generation a maimed world. This needs to become a bipartisan issue. It can't be, until one side stops plugging their fingers in their ears. We'll have to re-create the entire economy, to reward sustainability instead of limitless growth. We need the other side to become a part of this conversation, but there is one man who isn't invited, because he has proven himself to be utterly incapable of discussing anything but himself.
The Global Immigration Crisis
We can't save everyone. That is the heartbreaking truth. But as long as we're using undocumented workers for labor, we owe them basic human decency. This problem is closely connected to the last one, as global droughts have been a major factor in the wars and gang violence that are driving mass migration.
I don't know what Europe can do to solve its mass migration problem, but I know what the solution isn't. Turning ourselves into loathsome little klansmen, or listening to those who already are, will not make our problems go away. Fascism is tempting because it pretends to simplify the world. The great leader pretends he can solve everything, and all you have to hand him is your freedom.
But the right is correct that we can't just have wide open borders. We also can't afford to build and man a 1,900-mile wall while cutting taxes for the rich and saddling the next generations with crippling debt. The solution I propose is conditional citizenship for the nine-12 million undocumented immigrants who we can't deport (as a matter of practicality, we physically can't). They pay back and future taxes and a portion of that goes toward improved border security. We debate these things in a civil way. You on the right call off your Proud Boys and K.K.K. and American fucking Nazis, rendering Antifa unnecessary. We stop the next Civil War before it begins, and our newest citizens begin to integrate the way each generation of American immigrants has in the past.
There is only one person who can't come to the negotiations, because he doesn't have the knowledge, or the maturity, or the capability to admit fault or apologize, or empathize, or be a decent human being at all for even one second. He has shown us this. Believe what he has shown us all. Think for just a moment. Picture his toddler tantrum body language. Remember his actual words, calling entire races rapists and attacking minority judges and mocking disabled people. He has done a marvelous job of showing all of us just how shitty a human being he actually is. Please put pride aside and acknowledge what we all already know.
I know my attacking him may trigger some of you. Ask yourself why. He isn't your uncle. He isn't your drinking buddy. And if you reply with "But Hillary!" or "But Obama!", I openly acknowledge their flaws. I worship no Democrat in office; I just see them as a more practical class of crooks. I believe the best presidents of the last century were F.D.R., Dwight Eisenhower, and Teddy Roosevelt. Two of those are Republicans, and they wouldn't recognize what you've let your party devolve into. We can't fly on together with a crippled right wing. You do not owe any politician your personal allegiance. There are no messiahs. Please let the idea of a political savior go. This destructive belief cripples all of us. Please stop harming yourself and your nation just to spite "the liberal elite". Your choice to self-mutilate is making all of us bleed with you.
We have many other problems, and together, we could have solutions. Our entanglements with China need to be sorted out. A proper response to ongoing Russian cyber attacks needs to be implemented. Wealth inequality needs to be decreased or we'll continue to function as an oligarchy. We need a national cyber-security initiative on par with our response to Sputnik in the 50's. There are solutions to all of these problems. But first we have to sober up, and stop being so damn entertained. First the White House freak show needs to be cancelled. Then, I believe we can begin the painful conversations that could still heal our battered nation.
